The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 7 RANT

There comes an episode in every fangirl’s life, where she reflects and thinks, ‘that was the best and worst episode I’ve ever seen’.

Which brings us to Season 4 episode 7 of The Vampire Diaries.  What could have been the most ‘epic’ moment in all of TVD history quickly degenerated into the most cowardly, nonsensical copout the writers could have employed.

Don’t get me wrong. In the past, I’ve always praised writers Julie Plec and Kevin Williamson for refusing to pander to the fans’ deepest darkest longings. Through 3 seasons, they’ve risen above begging and both homicidal and suicidal death threats, staying true to their own visions of the characters and story.

But seriously writers, dafuq did you pull on us this Thursday night?

I’m a Delena shipper.

Firstly, if you don’t know what that is, you’re reading the wrong review. Secondly, sometimes I state the obvious.

Anyway, since I’m a Delena shipper, I have suffered through 3 seasons of watching Elena and Stefan engage in a zero chemistry dynamic that has ranged from giddy girl romance to cook your bunny proportions. If I could count the number of times I’ve rolled my eyes at their yawn-again–off-again relationship, I’d probably roll my eyes again.

Fine, I get it. This is a love triangle tale and Elena met Stefan first (wait, oh no she di’int), and Damon’s sole purpose in life(and death) is to win her over fair and square. So, wasn’t this that moment? Let’s recap what’s happened so far.

Season 1 Delena: Elena hates Evil Damon (but we all know that love and hate tread a thin line).

Season 2 Delena: They’re friends and she begins to trust him.

Season 3 Delena: The chemistry is undeniable. Damon hearts Elena.

Season 4 Delena: Vamp sex.

So, with impatiently bated breath, Delena shippers the world over made delayed gratification their best friend. Waited weeks, nay months, nay YEARS for that explosive moment where Elena and Damon would finally consummate their love in a joining of pent up passion that could result only in pure elation.

Only to have it marred by an unforeseeable plot twist and menacing music. That music, really Julie? Salt on open wounds much?

The cold shower? Elena might be sired to Damon. Which essentially means she’s not acting out of free will, but some feral, innate biology. As a Delena shipper this upsets me for all the above reasons. But what has me even more annoyed is the absurdity of this plotline. It’s the least thought out spanner in the works with which the show has let down its fans thus far.

Inconsistency A: This plotline negates any kind of meaningful personality development with respect to the characters of Elena and Damon. If she’s sired to Damon, it would imply she hasn’t grown in the least. Apparently, the writers can’t conceive of the notion that Elena might have grown out of her high-school affections for Stefan. Nor that Damon could be worthy of her ‘true love’. Come on! We’ve seen him evolve well beyond the perfunctory bad boy for some time now. He’s proven himself worthy and definitely more reliable than Stefan on more than one occasion, and let’s face it. He’s just plain hotter. But still Damon will be denied.

Inconsistency B: The writers have based this sire-bond debacle on some pretty tenuous evidence. 1. Elena agreeing with Damon’s superior fashion choices.  2. Her incapacity to drink from blood bags ‘because Damon said so’. What what? It’s not even worth refuting the first allegation. But since the writers brought up the second assertion, here’s what I have to say to that. Damon didn’t tell Elena she couldn’t feed on blood bags, till AFTER she puked it all out. Explain the puke please.

Inconsistency C: If all Elena’s actions post-vamp transformation can be explained away by the sire bond, then, she’s not a very good minion. She stayed with Stefan after she transformed, she attacked Damon to save Matt, she puked out Damon’s blood, she refused Damon’s help to save her when she was suicidal. Need I say more?

The writers just totally dropped the ball on this one. Two minor incidents of picking the same red dress and brushing aside Jeremy’s absence do not a sire bond make.

If indeed the sire bond was determining her actions, she would have been expressing undying loyalty from day 1, as Tyler did to Klaus. Bah humbug. A crackpot theory if ever there’s been one.

What this sire bond crap also manages to do (other than detract from one of the most gripping, passionate and anticipated love-making scenes in TV history) is absolve Stefan of his bad behaviour this whole season. For Dracula’s sake, the dude is trying to turn Jeremy into a deranged killing machine just so that he can get Elena to revert to her human self. Why? Because he doesn’t like who she is as a vampire. SELFISH MUCH?

And what were the writers thinking by making Caroline the moral mouthpiece/Greek chorus of the episode? Here she is lecturing Elena on why Damon is the wrong choice, when she herself is getting cosy with Klaus, THE quintessential bad boy vampire. Really writers? Vampires who live in glass houses without sun rings shouldn’t throw stones at kettles. Yes, this episode was so messed up, that I decided to insert a messed up metaphor.

Delena fans are used to Damon being demonized. The writers find it convenient to cast him in this pigeonholed role. It’s easier to contrive plot lines and tie up loose ends that way. When in doubt, make Damon the baddie. And the writers did it again. Because heaven forbid he can find a little redemption. Now Julie tells us that Damon is going to have to make a painful choice. No prizes for what that means. He loses the girl. AGAIN.

But here’s what I don’t get. Who are the writers pandering to? Stelena fans? Sorry, but you’re in the minority, so taking this route isn’t going to win you any popularity votes. And the flawed sire reasoning has proven beyond a doubt that the writers are certainly not forsaking popularity for creative excellence, so what’s the dill-yo?

All said and done, I think everyone will agree that Ian Somerhalder was a vision throughout this episode. And the sex scene was ha-awt! So tender, so beautiful, so damn believable. Go watch it on loop. ‘Nuff said.

It’s also worth noting that when Stefan and Elena did it, the background song was about self-immolation and soul-scarring pain. In Delena’s case, Ed Sheeran made the act of imminent consummation heart-warming, and hopeful. While I’d like to take solace in that, until I see how this sire bond claptrap plays out, the writers are guilty until proven innocent.

There it is folks. Season 4, episode 7. One which has not only polarised Delena and Stelena fans more than ever before, but generated such mixed feelings in a single TVD fan. I can’t wait for Julie to talk herself out of this one at Comic Con, where the fans/rational beings will inevitably grill her on this episode. And rest assured, there will be blood.

Cuz, you know, this is a show about vampires.